Identity + the Digital World
Our identity is our origin story. Where we come from.
Whose we are.
Quick recap: Last month, I introduced seven soundbites to teach your kids before (or after) they enter the social media world. These short declarations are like landmarks- helping your kids stay oriented to God’s love and purpose for them in the digital world.
01 / Identity Anchor your identity outside the digital world.
02 / Purpose Your digital spaces have purpose—like rooms in a house.
03 / Capacity Receive the gift of limits.
04 / Boundaries Your story is worth protecting.
05 / Engagement In a world that craves the spotlight, be a lantern.
06 / Smoke Detectors When things get smoky, head for the exits.
07 / Exit Routes Go big...or go home.
There is a lot to cover! So. If it’s okay, I’d love to spend the next several months unpacking them one by one—starting with this month’s topic: identity.
And identity? Well... it can be a big, hairy topic. It feels abstract, overwhelming, maybe a bit hard to talk about (especially with kids?!)...because in any given minute, it might sprout 80 legs and start walking 64,000 different directions...cause a million different reactions. So. When it comes to defining this first digital guidepost for my kids, I'm trying to keep it simple:
Our identity is our origin story. Where we come from. Who we are.
It's more than our heritage. It's our name. Our upbringing, our story... its highs and lows, the lessons learned, the character built. It's the foundation that grounds us, which we build our life upon. It's our roots... and our wings. It's our "why"... it drives us, lights us up, inspires us.
And here’s the cool part: as believers, we don’t have to create or search for our identity…we receive it. We are who God says we are.
Friends, if we could create an entrance exam for our kids to take before they open a social media account—we’d want to include this question: Do you know who(se) you are?
Here’s the problem facing so many of our kids: If you don’t know who you are, the social media world is full of endless voices telling you how to live, who to be, how to measure your worth. And it’s all too easy to take the bate—to spend your days creating a more perfect version of you. Even young children love choosing a new avatar each time they bootup a device. It turns out, the quest for a new and improved identity begins young, and it never really goes away.
But God doesn’t ask us to reinvent ourselves—in the real world or in the digital world. Instead, he invites us to come as we are. To live wholeheartedly. To be the same person online as we are offline. To live with digital integrity.
Friends, our kids’ identity cannot be birthed in the social media world. And when they feel lost, it can't be found there either. It must be anchored outside the digital world—in a story that is beautiful, and real. Before they enter social media, let’s help them receive and embrace their truest identity: They are His.
1 //
Here's a simple identity exercise you can do with your 5 year-old, your 9 year-old, or your 16 year-old on the back of a napkin the next time you grab a bite to eat. It is super simple, but a powerful tool to help prepare them for the world of social media. Would love to hear how it goes!
2 //
One of the biggest questions every kid has to answer is: Who am I? There are multiple voices that try to inform the answer to that question, and those voices rarely say the same thing at the same volume. In this LC Parents Podcast episode, my friend Ally Evans discusses how we can help our kids cut through the confusion and show up in the world with confidence.
3 //
If you loved reading the book You are Special to your preschoolers…I invite you to give it a fresh test drive through the lens of social media. Here’s what Max Lucado imagined about the power of being reminded of our identity:
And all day, every day, the Wemmicks did the same thing…people spent their days sticking stars or dots on one another.
The pretty ones, those with smooth wood and fine paint, always got stars. But if the wood was rough or the paint was chipped, the Wemmicks gave dots. The talented ones got stars, too. Some could lift big sticks high above their heads or jump over tall boxes. Still others knew big words or could sing pretty songs. Everyone gave them stars…
But one day, Punchinello met a Wemmick who was unlike any he’d ever met. She had no dots or stars. She was just wooden. Her name was Lucia.
It wasn’t that people didn’t try to give her stickers; it’s just that the stickers didn’t stick. Some of the Wemmicks admired Lucia for having no dots, so they would run up and give her a star. But it would fall off. Others would look down on her for having no stars, so they would give her a dot. But it wouldn’t stay either.
Her secret? Everyday, she left the village and went to visit someone who could remind her of her identity. She did not find it in the world of stars and dots.
The woodcarver explained it this way: “She has decided that what I think is more important than what they think. The stickers only stick if you let them…The more you trust my love, the less you care about their stickers.”